


as the world caves in

by crimsonatlantic



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anime, Emotional Hurt, First Love, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Gen, Idiots in Love, Langa - Freeform, M/M, Manga & Anime, Neurological Disorders, SK8, Sad, Sk8 the Infinity - Freeform, Skateboarding, Teen Angst, They need a hug, sorry if this sucks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:40:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28987236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crimsonatlantic/pseuds/crimsonatlantic
Summary: And here it is, our final night aliveAnd as the earth runs to the groundOh boy it's you that I lie with.
Relationships: Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	as the world caves in

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my twt besties](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+twt+besties).



> this is gonna b so sad,let me dip real quick.
> 
> ps this is for bree and gamba cus they helped me w the whole angst idea.

Reki was reckless since birth,his mom would tell him. He barely took care of himself,always exposed to

situations or things he shouldn't, yet somehow that never stopped him. No matter what,because Reki was Reki,

chickening out wasn't an option and nor was taking a break - work breaks were fine. But skateboard breaks,

friendship breaks? _Those weren't fun,_ he'd say.

At first, no one would get it. 

_Why skateboard?_

_Will skateboard feed you and your family?_

_Are you talented enough for it?_

_Why not an actual profession?_

_Why? Open a damn school book,Reki.  
  
_

"But it's not just a hobby." He would reason with the world. "It brings me happiness. It keeps me going." _Do you know_

 _how difficult it is to feel like this? To have something that makes sense?_ "People don't understand happiness,you know.

Most of then ramble about being "content" but - that isn't enough for me." _It could never be,_ Reki argued.

"Skating doesnt equal with _content_. It equals with _everything_ and _more_."

* * *

"Reki." Langa called out from the floor,clothes trashed,and body possibly filled with bruises. He had messed up another Ollie but that was okay. 

It was Langa,he _would_ figure it out. 

"Yeah?" The red head blinked curiously at his friend - arms crossed in expectation. Langa looked a bit lost,eyes blankly staring at the

sky. "I get it now." He announced and sat up,his blue eyes piercing reki's. The blank canvas in Langa's pupils transitioned into one of 

ice storms and firmness as their gazes locked ; Reki could almost picture him smoothly riding an actual skateboard on a snowy path,although impossible.

Langa _was_ impossible. The sudden warmth on his left hand made him blink. Langa took Reki's hand ,wordlessly, and pressed it against his chest.

The confusion left Reki's mind as he registed the beating heart underneath his palm,racing faster than any skate he had made himself. A pinch of red dusted 

his cheeks before he attempted to pull away yet Langa didn't budge,just looked at him with determination. " _Reki,I get it now_." The blue haired boy repeated and tightened the grip around his friend's thin wrist. "W- What do you get? I don't -" , "Skating,Reki."

Reki huffed out a mixed sigh of confusion and annoyance.

It was Langa's turn to get irritated. "You're really impossible,you know?" It was playful but also ,kinda, true. Reki was dense as hell during such situations,and as much as Langa wish he'd understand he never did. The red hair whined in response. "Yo Langa - you're the one that speaks...weirdly. You don't make any sense."

Langa rolled his eyes once before looking back at his best friend,this time in a _gentler_ tone. Reki was taken aback by the soft gaze he was met with.

"I don't feel content when I skate with you." Reki's heartbeat oddly quickened,anxiety clouding his mind as Langa spoke those words. 

_Did Langa get bored of skating? No. He would never. Langa loves it as much as I do,if not more. Langa gets i- Oh. **Langa gets it.**_

"Langa,you mean...happiness?" The elder smiled before nodding to Reki's question,one hand slipping away to position itself firmly on the red head's chest - right above his heart. "You - You actually got worried that I'd dump our skate sessions!" Langa yelled and Reki immediately flushed,sitting up from the bench he was resting on - just to smack the loud boy. Even if it felt painful,due to his wounds,Langa still laughed outloud and let Reki do his thing ; he was at least back to smiling. "Who is worried! I can skate just fine without your prince face around!" Although taken aback by the nickname,the older boy grinned before turning his whole body around - managing to catch Reki within his arms. He looked way too calm to Reki ; Langa always looked _too_ calm,especially during situations like these. Perhaps it was the poker face he used to sport on whilst snowboarding ; everytime he was too focused on something,his expression would be kind of passive yet his eyes the quite opposite. Reki convinced himself that this was the only intimidating thing about Langa - his _eyes_. He was a guy but even guys would find Langa attractive - _it was Langa that's why._ "Are you listening to me,Reki?"

"What?" _Jeez,what's with this guy._ From the proximity their faces were in,Reki could probably count Langa's lashes or describe the exact colour shades of his eyes. His eyes were beautiful, _so_ beautiful that Reki decided not to look away this time. Langa decided not to press on it. "I feel happiness skating with you." He continued,warm breath ghosting over Reki's face. "The feeling I had snowboarding before my father's passing? It is back now. I feel it all coming back to me, and it's all thanks to you." 

Reki cleared his throat before lowering his head,eyes squeezed shut to prevent any annoying tears from escaping.

There was a strange feeling combing in his throat but Reki fought it from forming entirely - gulping any broken noises down.

"So - it's not just... ** _content_**?"

"No. No **it's not**."

"That...that's cool,then."

Langa had laughed at the choice of words but nodded respectfully. " _Yeah._ _It's really cool_."

* * *

"What did you say?" Reki asked,eyes wide in confusion.

"Gorham-Stout disease. It is a rare bone disorder characterized by progressive bone loss and the overgrowth of lymphatic vessels. It doesn't have an age limit,or limits at all, and according to the examination you had this since you were a baby, you were just lucky enough to experience it slowly and not right away. Meaning that you did manage to move freely as a young boy and do certain activities. But judging by everything you told the doctors and the exams we pushed on you,I'm afraid this will change. Now that you're 16 and your body is developing more than ever,it is bound to get worse."

"So what are you telling me exactly?" His mother was silent beside him,tears brimming her eyes. _Did she know about my illness yet kept silent?_

There was a sudden rage boiling in him but he didn't dare focus on the crying woman ; the doctor's words were his **only** importance as of now.

The middle aged man simply sighed,rubbing over his face roughly. Reki took it as an **awful** sign. "Son. The GSD is affecting your spine. Involvement of the spine can potentially result in chronic or acute pain or paralysis. You cannot endanger your body more than you already have." 

Reki blinked. "No skateboard? Is that what you mean to tell me,doc?"

"Yes,son. No more skateboard. No more nothing. You'll keep coming back so we can examine and slow down the process - living an active life as much as you can is what ,im sure, you and your mother want. Therefore, we'll do our best to provide you with-"

"That won't be necessary." Reki cut off,unshed tears burning in his eyes. For the first time that day,his mother sat up and yelled at him. "We will do as the doctor says! You'll follow your therapy schedule so you can have a comfortable life. You're already as weak as it is." The words stung,although she didn't mean to,yet it made no difference.

**_Reki was Reki afterall,_ **

_**And no matter what,because Reki was Reki,** _

_**chickening out wasn't an option and nor was taking a break - work breaks were fine. But skateboard breaks? Those weren't fun.** _

* * *

_"You are prank-calling me,are you not?"_ Langa whispered through the phone ,that same night, breath heavy and shallow. Reki wanted to laugh at his best friend's response and snort a _yes you idiot! I promised to always skate with you afterall,right?_ \- but he couldn't. He couldn't lie to Langa like that. "I'm not."

" _Did you ever feel...sick_?" Reki laughed. 

"I've fallen sick _many_ times. I've gone through severe and normal situations. We never had much money to cover shit up." Langa fell silent for quite a while before speaking again. " _If only I_ \- " 

_Hell no._ "Don't you dare finish that sentence." Langa froze entirely from the other side,curling up to himself. Reki was angry and he couldn't make the situation any better but he knew. Pity was the _last_ thing the red head wanted of him.

" _You're right, i'm sorry_." Was all he replied with before sighing outloud. Reki's sigh followed and then some shuffling. " _What are you doing?_ "

Silence. " _Reki_?" More silence. Had his friend fallen asleep with him on the phone? It was passed midnight so it _wouldn't_ be impossible but Langa knew Reki better. His sleeping schedule was non existent. As he doubled over the facts,he heard _it -_ the sound of muffled sniffles and then the most heart-wrenching sobbing his ears had ever witnessed. Reki was crying and he wasn't there to comfort him,he was on a fucking airport bathroom,waiting for a flight back to the states. _While Reki was hurting_.

His own eyes filled with unwanted tears yet he did nothing to stop them from trailing down his pale cheeks and landing on his lap. Langa jumped when he heard Reki scream - _against his pillow but it was still all too clear_. Reki **needed** him. " _It will never stop hurting._ " Langa said then,flashbacks of his childhood filling his mind,faint images of his father either smiling at him or helping him to get on the damn snowboard. Langa knew the feeling of _loss,_ and although it was quite different,he understood. " _It will haunt you for the rest of your life. The memories,the feelings. Those things don't simply go away. You'll become a void,a nothing_."

Reki's sobs had died down,as if by instict he _needed_ to listen to Langa. The elder let out a shaky breath, "It isn't easy,it will never be. Even when you find a distraction,something will always remind you of the pain but that's okay. Because - do you know what's good with the void you're feeling right now,Reki?" He didn't actually expect a response but the red head made an effort to hum out a sound. Langa smiled. "Voids can be filled with a lot of things. They're there in the first place so they can stop being voids. Imagine this - there's an ugly,empty balloon and a beautiful fresh breath of air." Langa's chest tightened at the faint laugh from the other line and a small _fuck you_ coming his way. "The void is in the form of an empty balloon. And what it needs is the breath of air to fill it all up,to make it _content_." Langa exhaled sharply. 

"Reki after the loss of my father,I was a walking void. But after you? I was a colorful balloon filled with a fresh breath of air. Reki, ** _you_** are my breath of air."

It was silent this time but different. "You made me content,and before you argue,let me finish. For a **void** like mine to feel **content** ,it was a **_miracle_**. _You_ were a miracle to me. And then you introduced skateboard to me,so it became more than that. It became happiness." He could hear the awakening sniffling from the other line but Langa didn't stop. He needed to do this. "I won't talk to you as a skater,as a therapist or as a person who doesn't know you. I will talk to you as Langa,your best friend. I want you to live,Reki. And if it means to stop skating, then I would choose _that_ over endangering your own body - your own life over it." Langa swallowed thickly as more tears travelled down his cheeks. 

"Langa." _Reki._

"You told me before that _you get it_. You get skateboard." _I do._ "Langa,I've realised that your judgement was wrong." _No. You're not meant to say this._

"I will keep skating until my last breath,until my bones fucking _disappear_. Do you hear this Langa?" _Please,don't say that._

The pain in Langa's chest was unimaginable,undescribable. He had never felt like this before ; even when he was dragged to his father's funeral by force,even when his kid eyes took a glimpse of the man's corpse. The wave of emotions that crashed through him right now,were nothing alike tha day. Alike any day.

"Reki,pleas-" Reki shushed him with whatever voice was left in him. He felt disappointed,he felt betrayed. "You'll miss your flight,Langa,so go. And don't contact me again." _This isn't happening to me,to us. It's just a nightmare._ "You could never be my fresh breath of air,Langa. I realised it now."

Langa broke down into the most intense sobs ; When was the last time he cried like this? Had his chest felt as suffocating as it did right now in previous times? Langa felt as if he was dying yet Reki seemed not to notice that _he_ was the one killing him. "The happiness I,and my skates, gave you. Forget it all. They were never meant for _pretty boys_ like you."

At first, no one would get it. 

In the end, no one ever did.

**Author's Note:**

> ive never written an actuall chaptered ff help me xx  
> i hope the first chapter was to everyone's expectations ??  
> ily all and im sorry for mistakes,english aint my first language !!  
> have a great day and anticipate the next chapter soon <3


End file.
